


Til Death Do Us Part (or not)

by LizaGreen



Series: Give me a kiss, Stab me in the Back [3]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: 1920s slang, Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Animal Traits, Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Character, Cannibalism, Charlie Magne Tries, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Manipulative Relationship, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mentioned Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Mentioned Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Protective Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Protective Charlie (Hazbin Hotel), Punishment, Punishment in Hell is no joke, Roxie - Freeform, Sex Repulsed Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Touch-Averse Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, Weird Biology, mentioned in abstract
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:08:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23344474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizaGreen/pseuds/LizaGreen
Summary: “Are you sure-” she started, for what felt like the umpteenth time to Husker, only to get cut off.“Yes, I’m bloody sure. Go and ask Al if you’re so concerned. It’s none of my business what those two get up to this time of year.” Charlie blinked.“Huh?” Husk gave her a look.“It’s September.”“Topside, yeah, I think so,” Charlie said, still slightly non-plussed. They had a new tenant who had only recently arrived in Hell that Vaggie was showing around confirming this. “What has that got to do with anything?” That garnered her another look.“I told you, it’s none of my business. Now are you going to order a drink or not?” The cat took an aggressive swig from his ever-present bottle of alcohol and Charlie turned away with a sigh.
Relationships: Alastor & Charlie Magne, Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) & Original Female Character(s), Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Series: Give me a kiss, Stab me in the Back [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677907
Kudos: 44





	Til Death Do Us Part (or not)

**Author's Note:**

> Note once again, the only depiction of a healthy relationship in here is between Charlie and Vaggie. If this may cause any triggers, please do not read.

Charlie could not figure out their new guest at all. Roxie was indeed a worker for her mother, confirmed by a quick Hellnet search for ‘Roxanne LeRoux’ which revealed the number of shows she had been involved in and a disturbing blasé attitude towards cannibalism. Rumoured to be a ‘classy’ demon, if there was such a thing, meaning she didn’t sell her body for free. Or for anything. The net was surprisingly clear of any sexual regarding her at all, other than drooling reviews of her shows. 

And shows she gave. 

The new auditorium, set up in a separate living room, was packed every night for her Roaring Twenties display. Singing, dancing, even the occasional musical performance. She couldn’t have dragged Angel Dust away if she tried. Despite assurances that they did play together, the most Alastor had done was a very rare accompaniment on the piano, however. Those were the best performances though, and guests in the Hotel had increased since her appearance, so Charlie didn’t _really_ have cause for complaint. 

She was, however, concerned for her patron. 

Alastor and Roxie danced around each other in a rather odd manner. Some days they were practically friends, laughing and joking over a drink. Others she barely saw the Radio Demon while Roxie fumed at the bar. Those were the days that she was often drinking Deer Bloody Mary’s. A clear sign of where that frustration laid. 

Husk was no help. The cat demon avoided Roxie as much as he could and was tight lipped about their relationship. Niffty was hard to catch on a good day, and only had praise for the work the raven did in helping her renovate and clean the Hotel. And that she had done, with the fixed furniture, new drapes over the windows and sudden supply of clean sheets and towels for the guests. _Where_ she had gotten them was a mystery. The best guess she could come up with was Alastor, after catching them having an argument about the colours of said drapes. She could have done without the earsplitting radio feedback whenever red was turned down in favour of something else. The mystery continued the next day when she found them arguing over certain delicacies within the kitchen. She had left that one pretty quick- she had never been a fan of eyeballs, demonic or animal. 

More confusing still, was how _handsy_ Roxie was with Alastor. Most demons would have found themselves minced and in the next pot of Jambalaya had they even dared think about laying an unwanted hand on the Radio Demon. Roxie had no such restraint, going so far as to occasionally grab Alastor in the middle of an argument or even trail seductive hands over him in the middle of a show. While those shows usually ended abruptly, Alastor did no more than to remove her hands with varying levels of force, nothing more. The only sign of discomfort was the twitch in his smile. 

To say Charlie was worried, was little to nothing. Frustratingly, however, she was getting nowhere in finding out further information. 

“Are you sure-” she started, for what felt like the umpteenth time to Husker, only to get cut off. 

“Yes, I’m bloody sure. Go and ask Al if you’re so concerned. It’s none of my business what those two get up to this time of year.” Charlie blinked. 

“Huh?” Husk gave her a look. 

“It’s September.” 

“Topside, yeah, I think so,” Charlie said, still slightly non-plussed. They had a new tenant who had only recently arrived in Hell that Vaggie was showing around confirming this. “What has that got to do with anything?” That garnered her another look. 

“I told you, it’s none of my business. Now are you going to order a drink or not?” The cat took an aggressive swig from his ever-present bottle of alcohol and Charlie turned away with a sigh. 

The truth was she barely knew anything about her benefactor and the only animal demons she had experience with were Angel Dust and Vaggie. Razzle and Dazzle had been made for her by her father and barely acted like their earthly counterparts, which made gauging animal habits a little difficult for her. But education was everything, and this only meant that she had things to learn. 

It took a decent amount of scouring of the Hellnet and a brief trip to the mostly unused Library before she had all the information about earthly deer habits on hand. Not all of them would translate to Alastor she knew- Angel Dust after all, while being based upon a spider, had no such habits of making silk or webbing and Vaggie had no wings with which to fly, despite getting occasionally distracted by bright lights. Not that there were too many of those in Hell. But she would do her best. 

It was the September comment that nagged at her the most. She learnt that deer shed their antlers during the Winter and had habits of moving about usually at either dawn or dusk. Both pieces were near useless to her- she hadn’t known Alastor long enough to know if he _did_ shed his antlers and he moved about at any time of day, whether that was morning, noon, evening or even midnight. Sometimes she wondered when he would even _sleep_. Age was also out- the lifespan of a deer was so short that it doesn’t apply to Alastor at all. She didn’t even need to look at diet- the Radio Demon ate more meat than even the carnivorous demons. Then again, the fact that a deer had a four chambered stomach might have something to do with the vast _quantity_ that she knew Alastor could put away despite being thinner than a rake. And facts regarding does was rather irrelevant all things considered. 

The only other relevant tid bit she could find was that deer mating seasons usually fell within the Autumn months. Usually brought on by whenever a doe was also in season. She wrinkled her nose at that- there were no other deer demons in the Hotel though and certainly no female ones. Except... 

Animal biology might be a pointer, but it didn’t always translate perfectly. Some habits did, such as Roxie’s need to peck away at the carcasses left over in the kitchen, or Husk’s (supposedly secret) habit of purring. But each sinner had punishment dealt out to them based on their individual sins. Angel could ingest as many drugs as he would like but find no satisfaction in it (not for want for trying though). Vaggie threatened those around her but could not get away from the wandering eyes of other demons, always drawn to her. She didn’t know what Alastor had done to get to Hell, didn’t even know how he had died, so she couldn’t guess what the true punishment was. 

But she could guess. 

Husk had muttered something about her mother preferring ‘just desserts’ punishments. Lilith always enjoyed torturing souls with their own worst fears, dangling the thing they wanted most just out of reach. What that was for Alastor, or even Roxie, she wasn’t sure. 

Surprisingly, her mother actually answered the phone this time when she called, albeit on the last ring. 

“Hello, my precious marionette,” came the sultry tones. “How is work at the Hotel?” 

“Oh, it’s going great Mom!” she enthused, quickly filling her in on all the progress they were making. “And Angel Dust has really improved since that slip up on air! I just wish he hadn’t gotten involved so publicly...” 

“Well, that’s on him pet,” Lilith assured her. “I did adore the way you stood up for yourself to that dreadful Killjoy.” Charlie felt the smile widen on her face. 

“Yeah... Mom, why did you send Roxanne here though?” she asked quietly. It was the one thing that was nagging at her. 

“Oh, that one,” Lilith stated, almost airily. “You don’t have to worry about the little nymphomaniac, pet, I have her well in hand. More a reminder to your benefactor not to mess with you _too_ much.” 

“But he hasn’t done anything like that at all!” Charlie protested, taking in that little bit of information. Nymphomaniac huh? Considering who _else_ they had in the Hotel she suddenly had a bad feeling about the ‘punishment’ her mother had doled out on Alastor and Roxie. “He’s been helping in making the Hotel a real success!” 

“Any redemptions yet?” It should have been reassuring, a gesture that she believed and cared in what her daughter was doing. Charlie knew from the too casual tone that she didn’t. While her mother was more supportive of her passion projects than her father, she never explicitly agreed with them either. They both just enjoyed the punishments too much. 

“N-not yet. But we’re getting somewhere and many of the guests that have left, have improved themselves!” 

“If you say so pet. Mother has to go now. Valentino wants a meeting again, now that he’s missing his favourite pornstar.” The phone clicked off before she could protest. Charlie scowled at it and then down at her research. 

“Thanks, Mom,” she murmured. At least she cared enough to blatantly warn Alastor off of doing anything sketchy in the Hotel. 

* * *

Charlie was surprised to find Alastor waiting for her in the Library when she returned the books. She blushed, realising how incriminating such works might be, but if the Radio Demon noticed, he made no mention of it. If she looked carefully, she realised that yes, his antlers actually were slightly larger than usual and missing the soft velvet that normally adorned it. 

“Hello, my dear! Just the gal I was looking for!” He didn’t even blink at taking the books from her, placing them back onto the shelves she couldn’t reach. 

“Hey, Al,” she stuttered, unsure of what to say. How _did_ one broach such a subject to someone she knew was clearly uncomfortable with the subject of sex? Let alone ask ' _are you currently banging the new resident even though I know even the mention of such activity makes you mad?’_ She wasn’t stupid enough to try. 

“Husker said that you were looking to speak with me, so here I am, in the flesh!” Red eyes watched her as she shifted uncomfortably, unable to hide behind the books. _He did that on purpose,_ she realised suddenly. _So, I would have nowhere to hide._ Well, two could play at that game. 

“I’m sorry if you’re angry I was prying into your business. I was worried about you.” The grin barely moved, but the red orbs narrowed ever so slightly. 

“Whatever for, my dear? As you can see, I am in perfect health!” Alastor made a grand gesture, as if to strengthen this resolve. Charlie noticed the tightening of his hand on the microphone instead. 

“I know Roxie makes you uncomfortable. If you want her gone, I can get her to leave,” she said firmly, ignoring his attempts to distract her. There was a pause, Alastor’s smile drooping ever so slightly. He hadn’t expected her to offer that. Then, surprisingly, he burst into laughter. 

“Oh, that is a good jape of yours, my dear! No, no, I assure you, as much as I would enjoy to see her take the jump, we are quite capable of working together,” he said. Charlie gave him a flat look. 

“I know you’re not comfortable with the way she touches you,” she insisted, knowing she was walking dangerous ground here. But she pressed on anyway, despite the growing static in the air. “I mean it, one word from you and she’s out of here.” Alastor gave her a considering look, one hand stroking the top of his cane thoughtfully. 

“It is a generous offer, Miss Charlotte,” he said, ignoring her exasperated huff at the use of her full name. “However, I would hate to anger your mother by turning away such a delightful gift, especially after the way she lammed off last time.” The grin widened a little. “I have no need of your help to resolve marital issues.” Charlie blinked, blinked again and opened her mouth to say something. 

However, the Library was empty before she could construct a response. 

* * *

Vaggie looked set to explode when she relayed what she had learnt, later that evening in their room. 

“She’s what?” Charlie half expected her girlfriend to start ripping her hair out. 

“It’s ok, Vaggie, really. I think... I think Al knew who sent her here and why the moment she arrived.” She had said nothing about the _other_ reason she was probably here. _Mom punished them both. And something like this is right up her street._ Send Alastor a sign to back off and punish him at the same time? _Definitely_ Mom. “And, honestly, I think I feel better knowing that it’s just between them. So long as it stays that way, we shouldn’t have anything to worry about.” 

“But how do we know that’s the way it will stay?” Vaggie asked, flopping onto the bed and hugging a pillow. “They’re both as crazy as each other.” 

“Mom didn’t seem too concerned when we spoke earlier,” she pointed out. Vaggie muttered something under her breath that Charlie pretended not to hear. Her parents weren’t awful really. They just had... different ways of caring than the people Vaggie knew. 

“It’s just... I didn’t think that asshole was capable of caring about anyone other than himself,” Vaggie huffed. “But _married?”_

_“_ Mom loves a good karmic retribution,” Charlie said, dropping down next to her. “If they didn’t get along in life, chaining them together after death is one way of punishing them.” Vaggie raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment any further. “Anyway, how was your day?” Charlie asked, deciding to change topic. Vaggie rolled her eyes. 

“Angel Dust’s following Roxie around like a lost puppy. Not sure why, maybe it’s just to see Alastor get riled up or pick up sex tips,” Vaggie said, leaning against her shoulder. “We got a couple new tenants and three of the lesser demons left the Hotel. I had Husk throw one of them out because he was sneaking drugs in.” Charlie made a face, annoyed, but said nothing about it. People sneaking contraband into the Happy Hotel was a given with the denizens of Hell, but she was glad they were able to police it somewhat. “It was Niffty who found it though and reported it to Roxie of all people. I was more surprised she refused to give any to Angel Dust considering he was practically on his knees begging for it when I found them.” Now _that_ was surprising. 

“She did?” she asked, surprised. She hadn’t thought the raven demoness took the Hotel all that seriously. 

“Probably playing up her darling Housewife persona,” Vaggie pointed out. 

“Huh,” Charlie murmured, “Maybe. Maybe not.” 

“She won’t be doing it for any good reason.” 

“I know,” Charlie reassured her girlfriend, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I know she’s probably just trying to get into Al’s good books. But it’s still _something_.” Vaggie gave her a disbelieving look, before shaking her head and leaning back. 

“Whatever you say, Charlie. But... I suppose you’re right that they aren’t overtly ruining the Hotel,” she mused. “I’ll still keep an eye on them.” 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Charlie grinned, pulling the moth girl into a hug. “Oh, I wonder if Husk or Niffty knows when their anniversary is!” 

“Oh, they’ll thank you for that!” Vaggie snorted. 

“That’s the point,” Charlie grinned, eyes sparking with mischief. “Think how much they’d have to behave, together, all day!” Vaggie blinked before bursting out into giggles. 

“Ooh, which of them annoyed you?” she asked between laughter. Charlie shrugged. 

“Neither particularly. I just think red would have suited the drapes after all,” she said innocently. It was worth the smack with a pillow. 

As the conversation devolved into a pillow fight, she pretended she hadn’t seen the deer shadow creep away into the night. And if the drapes had mysteriously returned to red the next day, she made no mention of that either. 

**Author's Note:**

> My research through Google must seem really weird when looking up deer habits and traits in America. I may have based much of the animal on that of the Whitetail Deer, which is not necessarily native to Louisiana but can be found in Arkansas and Mississippi apparently. The things you do for a story XD
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed this instalment!


End file.
